All democracy is a work in progress. Despite its flaws and pitfalls, democratic governance remains the best thing going as a means to unify culturally diverse people and affording all with an array of available options to grow and thrive. In a country that guarantees so many freedoms, it is the responsibility of every person to exercise as many opportunities as they can access to find whatever path of life works best for them in pursuit of their own brand of happiness. Such has been the earmark of the American nation since its founding in the late 18th Century. When the quest for that elusive happiness involves collaboration, negotiation or whatever means of getting to “YES” with others in a public or even private forum, multiple challenges to achieving consensus takes difficulty to a whole new level. Deeply held convictions, headstrong opinions, goal driven priorities and conflicting interests borne of deeply ingrained ideology become the mother of all stumbling blocks. From our beginning, there have been staggering differences, viciously opposing world views and intense disagreements of those crafting public policy and writing legislation which, from time to time, failed reconciliation leading to open hostility. It is fair to say in the course of human events in creating a more perfect Union that conflict is inevitable. The key to the success of democratic self-rule lies in how conflict is managed. Tribalism in a pluralistic society goes with the territory be it ethnic, religious, political, ideological, regional, generational or any one of a number of other group labels. Those characteristics form the fault lines and fissures that facilitate very real divides in any group or greater community. Those badly abused fault lines in 2022 America are showing their age in a very ugly way. It seems we are now confronted daily with the most intransigent body politic and partisan tribalism in collective memory as that divide is only widening. A large segment of that social order would love to heal the rift in America. That sentiment is offset by another large segment that would rather just bring all the riffraff in America to heel. The toxic atmosphere generated by all this has produced a malaise of dissatisfaction permeating through all strata of society. Dealing daily with these dynamics of life in such a place during such a time is extremely detrimental to finding joy leading to a sense of inner peace.
For most of us who have grown up in the USA and even many of those who haven’t, long standing standard ground rules at holiday family functions have kept divisive issues such as politics and religion off limits for table discussion. Most of us accept these rules as being all fine and well. Everyone should be able to put away their non-negotiable worldview for two or three hours at least once or twice a year as a gesture of mutual respect. This has been the universally accepted policy for as long as most of us can remember. We could all agree to disagree on whatever issue without being disagreeable and come together as family and as friends without conflict or contention for brief periods conducive to a shared feeling of unity and togetherness. Such an open display of unconditional love and acceptance or at very least a sense of mutual tolerance was for most of us a venerated mutual desire. Sadly, this method of overcoming differences with close and extended family and friends has been steadily eroding with the rise of Conservative talk radio, the advent of televised infotainment, the 24-hour TV news cycle and the introduction of Internet social media echo chambers. The normalization of the practice of molding reported facts to fit one’s opinion rather than forming opinion around facts and the acceptance of the invention of “alternative facts” to fit opinion has contributed much fuel to this particular fire. Extremist ideologs have learned and proven they can have a deciding effect on public opinion and win close elections by exploiting wedge issues and playing heavily on the politics of division. The downside is their heavy-handed use of grievance-based indignation has created a real and permanent schism with those who do not share their frequently extreme fringe views. Add to that an acquired inability to leave their politics at the polls or on the campaign trail or in the online chatroom or TV lounge and the result is a very real polarization effect which has only gotten worse.
So, what can be done about this? None of us are going away, neither them nor us, so how do we coexist in a milieu of polar extremes such that the prospect of agreeing on anything that really matters to anyone is becoming a pipedream? In the age of alternative facts, we must decide upon the best ways of thriving while operating within our established paradigm of reason. So, how do we enlightened, humanistic, empathetic souls walk a positive path of personal growth that leads us to a sense of inner peace? That task may not necessarily be as tall an order as it may initially seem.
The first and most important concept we must internalize is we must not lose ourselves amid the smoke and mirrors of intransigence and stalemate in discourse. Finding our way in this time of social unrest, political insanity, universal frustration and sustained ubiquitous dissatisfaction begins and ends with a firm resolve to never stop being who or what we are. Once we are past that we must continue to be kind, generous, empathetic and immerse ourselves in activities that illuminate our inner qualities that make us the all-accepting humanitarians and humanistic souls of reason we are. Community engagement, volunteering where needed, going the extra mile in bettering our efforts in caring for others are the actions that are becoming of us. We must also accept that not every blast of hateful rhetoric or every gesture of contempt or even every negative opinionated criticism directed at us from the other side of the divide requires a reaction or even a response. At the end of the day, we remain subject to the fundamental truth that what others may think of us is none of our business on the front side and it really does not or should not matter on the back side. If we have offended anyone then we should hold our heads up and be proud of the fact we took a stand on an issue.
The policy that has worked best for me is that of live and let live. That said, please know and understand that I don’t have all the answers except for perhaps those that saw me through my lowest moments of my deepest soul pain. Acknowledging two basic truths that nothing is ever permanent and time heals all wounds helped a great deal. Losing friends and family members over seemingly stupid things like politics, religion, career choice or whatever other inane grievance may have inflicted such painful wounds to the soul such that when they healed, the scars they left continue to serve as unique reminders of an authentic tale of woe. Sometimes the removal of a toxic person from our circle, be it by their choice or ours, lends greatly to an improved quality of life for us. It is also helpful to understand, all things being equal in the absence of affective mental illness, that happiness is a choice and not a result. At the end of the day do not forget that there have been strikingly few times in the history of our species when conflict was absent and peace among the people prevailed. We are still at the front of the latest episode of humanity’s insanity. Hopefully we will have more control and influence the more we refine those qualities that make us who and what we are. In the hopeful event that grievance fatigue leads those on the other side to rethink their decision to cut us off, we should welcome them back as I have seen on a few occasions. The way the social tide is flowing however, such instances will likely be the exceptions and not the rule. Even still, we should celebrate success when and where we can. Let our stars shine bright and let our hope never diminish. Stand ready to share our humanity and assert it where it is needed. This will be the yardstick for our victory in this life. Our legacy will be finding joy and peace within ourselves amid the division and chaos of our time.
Excellent, Stan.